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When someone dies Overhanging boy

When someone you love – a person or a pet – dies, it can be heartbreaking and confusing and you will feel sad.

It is okay to feel sad, but normally this feeling does not go on forever.

When you are very sad, sometimes you can feel overwhelmed and like you cannot cope. It is important that you have adults around you to help you when you do feel sad. It is also important that everyone who wants to talk about how they are feeling is able to talk to someone they trust.

Sometimes our own family does not seem ready or able to listen – especially if they are very sad too. When other people find emotions difficult, they might avoid you to protect themselves. Find a person who you trust and who is able to listen to how you feel. This could be a teacher, a school nurse, a friend, a family member or a counsellor.

It’s normal to feel worried

It is normal when you lose someone special to feel worried that you might lose other people too. It is important that you should be allowed to think about this, and talk about whether this is true or not.

Often people say that maybe if they had done things differently, then their loved one might not have died. It is important not to blame yourself for things that are not in your control. What has happened cannot be changed, but the way you think about it can. The pain of losing them does continue, but you should start to feel better as time goes on. If you feel you are not feeling better, it is good to talk to an adult that you trust about this – they can help you.

Family and friends matter

When someone you love dies, you always need to be told the truth. Sometimes difficult information might need to wait until you are older, but you should always be told the truth.

You may need to feel loved and included by your families and friends, as this can make you feel supported and strong. It is often useful for us to continue to do the things we normally do, like go to school and clubs, even if you don’t feel like it. This sense of routine can help you feel less alone.

For more information on coping when someone dies, contact the Laura Centre or Winston’s Wish.

You may also want to ring Childline on 0800 1111 if you feel that you have no one you can trust to speak to.

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If you are not feeling better after a long time, it is good to talk to an adult that you trust about this – they can help you.
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