\nAdjusting to school and what you can do
\nEvery child is different and some may need more time adjusting to the new routine. Especially when they realise that they need to go back everyday. With some patience, your child will get into a routine with school, and drop-off will become less dramatic.<\/p>\n
Keep in contact with your child\u2019s teacher<\/p>\n
Most children who cry at drop-off stop crying after saying goodbye. To make sure, keep in contact with the class teacher. This could be at the classroom door, email or a phone call, but it may not always be appropriate to talk in front of your child.<\/p>\n
Stick to the routines<\/p>\n
Hungry, tired children are often clingy and more emotional.<\/p>\n
Get excited about the school day<\/p>\n
On the way to school, talk about what your child might do and who they might play with. Stay upbeat and do not overload them with questions. If you sense the conversation makes them more worried, change the subject to something non-school related.<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t compare your child\u2019s behaviour to another who might not have been upset. Don\u2019t create a drama about previous experiences at drop-off.<\/p>\n
Get them busy<\/p>\n
Settle them in before you leave. The class teacher will have activities ready and your child will soon know what to do when they arrive. You could ask them to show you their most recent collage or favourite book if they\u2019re reluctant to play with others.<\/p>\n
Do not give your child the impression that you\u2019ll stay long. If you have trouble with your exit strategy, ask the teacher if they can step in so you can leave. Schools will gradually discourage the parent\/carer accompanying the child into school over the first half term or so.<\/p>\n
Stay positive<\/p>\n
Don\u2019t let on that you\u2019re worried or waiting for trouble at the drop-off. Instead, appear confident that your child will separate easily. Say goodbye cheerfully and matter-of-factly. Then walk out without a backward glance.<\/p>\n
Make sure not to disappear suddenly as your child may\u00a0 feel worried and unsure after you leave.
\nYoung children who worry
\nIt can be empowering to educate young people around why we worry. It\u2019s a healthy emotion and it helps to keep us safe.<\/p>\n
Young minds are reactive and as parents or carers we can help young children to manage that feeling. You can help to explain that worrying is normal, it\u2019s a sign to slow down and breathe, and that it\u2019s a temporary feeling.
\nEncourage learning from natural consequences
\nA natural consequence is anything that happens naturally, with no adult interference, for example when you stand in the rain, you get wet. When you don\u2019t eat, you get hungry.<\/p>\n
It\u2019s important not to lecture your child with \u201cI told you so.\u201d Try to show empathy, for example, \u201cyou must have been cold with no coat\u201d and offer a comforting solution without rescuing. This could be suggesting that they have a shower\u00a0 to warm up instead of \u201cnext time I\u2019ll bring your coat if you forget.\u201d<\/p>\n
Validate the child\u2019s feelings too with \u201cyou must have felt really uncomfortable\u201d, instead of \u201cweren\u2019t you silly for forgetting it.\u201d
\nActively talk about emotions and feelings
\nShare your feelings and validate theirs. When they feel scared, anxious or worried, you may say things like, \\”What questions do you have? What are you wondering about?\u201d or \u201cThis is really hard right now, but I know we can deal with this and we can get through this together.\u201d<\/p>\n
Get more advice on\u00a0how to talk to your child about feelings
\nPractice relaxation techniques together
\nA relaxed child can think more constructively and positively. They have the space to reflect on issues. Their behaviour may improve because they feel calmer.<\/p>\n
As a parent and a carer, it\u2019s also important to recognise your own needs and care for your emotional wellbeing. Looking after children and starting a new school\u00a0 routine can be stressful and your child may pick up and react to your behaviours.<\/p>\n
7 techniques for helping your child to stay calm
\nRecognise\u00a0positive choices and accept mistakes
\nLearning from mistakes allows children to face and grow from failures. and recognise where they went wrong.<\/p>\n
This helps minor inconveniences to not lead to temper tantrums or misbehaviour. Instead, your child learns how to spring back into action.<\/p>\n
Facing failure makes children less prone to feelings of anxiety.
\nHow can I help my child?
\nStick to routines, be consistent, have together-time and involve the family so that everyone takes the same approach.<\/p>\n
Be clear, be calm, discipline in a fair way, be positive about good behaviour and champion successes.<\/p>\n
If you feel you would benefit from them, find out about\u00a0local parenting advice or courses. They can help build confidence, learn ways of coping and provide opportunities to meet other parents.<\/p>\n
Be kind to yourself\u00a0and take care of your own wellbeing. Talk to others.<\/p>\n
When emotions run high,\u00a0remember that you\u2019re the adult in the situation, and you\u2019re in charge of your small child, not the other way around!<\/p>\n
Get advice if your concerns continue over a period of weeks.\u00a0Contact the School Nursing Service, your GP or your child\u2019s school.<\/p>\n
When any aspect of your child\u2019s daily routine (sleep, eating, toilet training, tantrums) becomes an overwhelming problem, continues for too long or significantly affects their life or your family life, it\u2019s worth considering possible reasons or underlying difficulties.<\/p>\n
Discuss with your child\u2019s class teacher, your GP or\u00a0make a self referral to the School Nursing Service.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"